


The Morning After

by LunaBell2013



Category: Cormoran Strike Series - Robert Galbraith, Strike (TV 2017)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:54:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22048225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaBell2013/pseuds/LunaBell2013
Summary: After reading DevineMandate's fic regarding the transgender debate and the ensuing argument between Robin and Strike, I spent a lot of time thinking about Strike's behaviour toward Robin, how it might have made her feel and how they both might feel and react the next day.The result was this.
Relationships: Robin Ellacott & Cormoran Strike, Robin Ellacott/Cormoran Strike
Comments: 15
Kudos: 12





	The Morning After

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Self-Indulgent Political Nonsense](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22018273) by [DevineMandate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DevineMandate/pseuds/DevineMandate). 



Strike spent the evening after the argument in his flat, drinking and silently fuming both with Robin and with himself. He listened to her clearing up and locking up below, the sound of the office door closing, her footsteps fading down the staircase.

He vehemently disagreed with her opinion, but had he gone too far? He’d wanted to push her, to shock her, but some of what he’d said…

She was so much younger, and she’d led such a sheltered life until she’d met him, in part because of her own, traumatic experiences. She was a good person, he knew that. Did ignorance really deserve the attack he’d subjected her to? Would a calmer, more rational approach have gotten his point across more effectively?

He’d wanted to hurt her, and for that, if nothing else he was ashamed of himself. He’d succeeded, he’d seen it in her eyes – pain and something else. Fear? God, surely not? He hoped not.

He poured another whisky and resolved to smooth things over in the morning. He absolutely would not apologise for his views, which he still believed to be right, but maybe his way of communicating them had left a bit to be desired.

* * *

Robin left the office that evening shaking, with what she wasn’t quite sure.

Robin was aware that she didn’t have the greatest grasp on transgender issues. It wasn’t something that had entered her frame of reference at all really until now, and she was largely informed by the media on the subject. She wasn’t certain anyone could truly claim to have a handle on such a complicated and emotive issue. Cormoran’s talk about the science of gender had piqued her interest though. She was a scientist at heart and resolved to look into the subject and educate herself further.

What had shocked her to her core, had been Cormoran himself.

She’d seen him angry before, even with her, but she’d never seen what appeared to be such a wilful determination to hurt in his eyes. It had scared her, and for all his bulk and stubbornness, the way she’d seen him deal with the likes of John Bristow, and how angry he’d been with her over the Brockbank case, she’d never, ever been scared of him.  
The way he’d loomed over her physically as he spat his disgust at her views, his total unwillingness to listen or try to understand, even knowing what she’d been through, and then his parting shot and the way he'd stormed out of the office. It had made her feel vulnerable and powerless in a way that she hadn't felt for a long, long time. The memories of that time made her feel physically sick.

* * *

Strike arrived at the office at 8.30am the following morning, two coffees and three cigarettes down already, not to mention the handful of paracetamol that had been necessary to ward off the effects of too much single malt.

He planned to get the kettle on and talk to Robin over coffee before they got started on the day’s work.

The door snagged slightly as he pushed it open, and looking down he found an envelope, addressed simply to ‘Cormoran’ in familiar neat, rounded handwriting. He sat down on the sofa, which farted a welcome as usual, and opened it.

> _Dear Cormoran,_
> 
> _I felt after what happened in the office yesterday it would be better to put my thoughts down in writing, as you seemed rather unwilling to give me any opportunity to voice them.  
>  _  
>  _Some of the points you made certainly gave me food for thought. I have spent most of the night researching and reading articles about the issue to better inform myself, particularly those of Judith Lorber and Ann Fausto-Sterling._
> 
> _I also reached out to old family friend, a clinical cytogeneticist, as I was interested to discover her opinion on the subject. Her thoughts, based on her twenty plus years of experience in the field of genetics, is that sex is likely not binary from a genetic perspective, and that at some point scientists will discover that there are a large number of genomic scenarios that affect sex, although we have a long way to go as far as that research is concerned._
> 
> _So, first and foremost, I stand corrected.  
>    
>  _

Strike relaxed back into the sofa, relieved. That was his Robin. He might have known that the investigator in her would not rest until she’d explored their argument further. He continued to read:

> _As for your comment about crimes committed by as opposed to crimes committed against transgender persons, yes, I believe you are right that the latter group are far more vulnerable and need protection and support, but the fact remains that sadly some heinous crimes have been committed by members of the transgender community.  
>  _  
>  _I presume you are unfamiliar with the case of Karen White who, whilst still a man, committed several violent sexual offences, stated they were transitioning, was transferred to a female prison and then carried out two further sexual assaults?_
> 
> _There are similar cases referred to in the article below:_  
>  _https://quillette.com/2019/10/12/male-bodied-rapists-are-being-imprisoned-with-women-why-do-so-few-people-care/_
> 
> _From a personal point of view, I’d also like to draw your attention to the legal definition of rape i.e. that it involves penetration with a penis without consent._  
>  _As a rape survivor myself I can barely begin to imagine how traumatic and offensive it would be to a woman who was raped to have it written down that her attacker was a female in that context._
> 
> _As you said yourself, you are a cis white male, so you cannot possibly comprehend how a woman feels during or after an attack like the one I experienced at the hands of Oliver Trewin. Or what Brittany Brockbank, or Holly Brockbank, or Angel, or Donald Laing’s wife or subsequent victims went through, and that whilst some of our fears stem from ignorance, they are also informed by our own personal, valid experiences._

Strike thought back to Robin’s confession in The Tottenham the night after she’d split with Matthew. Her pain at the memory of the attack itself, and of Matthew’s betrayal. He thought of finding Rhona Laing, tied to a filthy bed, shoulder dislocated, bleeding. Of meeting her parents and learning that the internal injuries Laing had inflicted had been so severe she’d been unable to have further children with the man she’d subsequently married. He thought of Brittany Brockbank’s face, her desperate attempts to backtrack when questioned about the allegations of abuse that she’d made, and her words when he’s met her at the commune after Brockbank was caught:

“…and you believed me. It helped.”

Strike remembered the child on the roadside, standing over him with a gun, winking. He too knew what it felt like to be completely physically vulnerable.

He remembered Robin’s face when he’d shouted at her that she was worse than Charlotte, no better than Matthew and felt a leaden weight form in his solar plexus. Ignorance and fear. Putting a spanner in the works of mutual understanding and compassion since time immemorial.  
  
She’d be here soon. They could work this out, he knew it. It was him and Robin after all.

He continued to read:

> _The vast majority of decent people, myself included, would never want to hurt or endanger members of the trans community, who have every right to respect and protection, but it is very possible that the blurring of some boundaries presents an element of risk, admittedly from a tiny minority but it is there, and for many women, particularly those who have been victims of rape, sexual assault and domestic abuse, that risk - however small - is absolutely terrifying._
> 
> _Clearly it is a very complicated and emotive issue on both sides. I’m sure I don’t know and can’t possibly understand every issue involved. What I do feel however, is that it would really great if the transgender community and cis women could come together to ensure measures are put in place that protect the rights and safety of everyone involved against the odious, manipulative minority with nefarious intent that are making it difficult for both groups.  
>  _

Well, that was something he couldn’t argue with. A starting point for them to find some common ground. He looked at his watch. It was gone nine, she should be here by now. He made two mugs of coffee, placing one on Robin’s desk and returning with his own to the sofa and Robin’s letter.

> _Moving away from the transgender debate itself, what I also know is how I felt yesterday. I have always felt safe in this office. I have always felt valued and respected by you, and whilst we haven’t always agreed on everything, you have always been kind and calm and willing to listen._
> 
> _I had hoped, now that I’m free of Matthew, that our relationship would go back fully to what it once was. If I’m honest, I’d hoped it might become more than that at some point. It felt like you were in the same headspace and that we were moving closer._
> 
> _But yesterday I saw another side to you._
> 
> _Your empathy for the transgender community does you credit, and as I’ve already admitted it appears my opinion was ill-informed - I have no problem admitting when I’m wrong. However, I cannot forget the way you looked at me yesterday. I have seen you angry before, even at me, but I have never seen you so aggressive, so unwilling to listen and so determined to cause pain, and far worse, enjoying it._
> 
> _What I have experienced and achieved over the last couple of years has been incredible. You changed my life, but there can be no future for us now, personally or professionally, not because of our opinions but because of that - you wanted to inflict damage and you succeeded. You said yourself that you are disappointed in and no longer respect me and that is no foundation for a working relationship, let alone anything else._
> 
> _So, I’ll make it easy for you. Consider this my notice with immediate effect. You can send any salary owing and a reference (I think you owe me that at least for the work I’ve put into the business over the last two and half years) on by post. Quick and clean. Send it to my parent’s address – it’s on my HR file, I’ll be on my way back to Masham by the time you read this._
> 
> _Goodbye Cormoran._  
>  _Rx_

Sitting alone on the sofa in the office, silent apart from the distant sounds of traffic from Charing Cross Road, Strike watched Robin’s coffee grow cold.

**Author's Note:**

> I had a LOT of feelings after reading DevineMandate's 'Self Indulgent Political Nonsense' the other day.
> 
> Some confused, some angry. Like Robin I had a fairly sleepless night and like Robin I did some of my own research (yes, I do have a friend who is a geneticist!) and it changed my viewpoint somewhat which I consider a good thing.
> 
> My over-riding thought was perhaps a fandom of this nature isn't the place for political rants, particularly when you're using the characters of someone you so violently disagree with to make your point, but y'know freedom of expression and all that - and that is something I will always support.
> 
> What broke my heart more than anything about DevineMandate's fic, was Cormoran's treatment of Robin. I felt she deserved her say...hence writing my take on what that might have been.
> 
> I've posted under a different name from usual (dammit - should've called myself Liz Tassel!) because for me their relationship is really what this is about and I don't want the subject matter to taint the area of the fandom I love - fluff, angst, smut a bit of case fic to keep us all going until the next book, if we still choose to indulge in light of recent events. 
> 
> I really don't want to get involved in the nature of the debate itself, as I don't know enough about it.
> 
> However, I do know what it feels like to be in an emotionally abusive relationship, not unlike Robin's with Matthew, and I can imagine how she might feel after being on the receiving end on such an onslaught from Strike.


End file.
